By Nicole Bandes

As everyone else is celebrating the birth of our nation. I and my family will be mourning the loss of a loved one. Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the day my bonus* son was killed in a head on car crash just 3 weeks shy of his 18th birthday. Earlier in the year, I had to endure the amputation of my favorite dog's leg after having watched her being hit by a truck. While that experience didn't compare, it seemed to set the tone for 2013. 2013 was the worst year of my life.

But I made it through. My family has made it through. In some ways, we are stronger for the experiences. In others, there is still a large piece of us that is missing and it always will be.

For a couple of weeks, I've been thinking of ways I could honor Brad on the day everyone else is enjoying fireworks. I still don't know what is the right way to do that.  What I do know, is that I've learned a lot over the last 18 months. I've learned a lot about others and even more about myself.  And, if I can do nothing else, I can share some of what I've learned in an attempt to continue to seek meaning and purpose from these experiences because our time is short. Sometimes too short.

Lessons I've learned in the past year.

1. Never wonder how it could get any worse. It can. (See #4).
2. It's OK to ask for help when you really need it. In fact, people really want to know how they can help.
3. Being a "step" mom doesn't make it hurt any less.
4. 
5. People will sometimes say the dumbest things but they almost always mean well.
6. Never take for granted that you know someone. You often don't know the most important things until they are gone.
7. Saying, "I don't know what to say," is better than not saying anything.
8. 
9. It's OK to be vulnerable.
10. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is to just breathe. The moment will pass. It might take a month and it might come back, but it will pass.
11. No one's experience is quite like yours. Don't assume they are the same or that one is any better or worse than the other.
12. 
13. When you have a purpose, it makes things easier. Sometimes you won't know what that purpose is until you've unwrapped the ugly paper.
14. The world goes on, with or without you.
15. It's OK to laugh and it's OK to cry and you don't have to say you are sorry.
16. 
17. Life is easier when you are with loved ones.
18. I have some amazing gifts to give.
19. You can't just CHOOSE to be OK, you have to let yourself feel what you feel.
20. I'm going to be OK. 

I'm sad. I will continue to be. But I'm OK. I only sometimes break down in tears and the most random of moments any more. Usually, it's when I'm sharing my story and hoping it helps someone else. I know that it isn't any good to hope that no one ever has to go through the pain we have experienced. Instead, I will hope that I can be there for them when they need me and that I can help others to be there for their loved ones when they are most needed. I hope that I can help people to never risk regret. That kind of regret that says "I coulda, I shoulda, I woulda if only there had been more time." There's never enough time. All we can do is make the most of the time we have right now.

So here's my biggest lesson I learned from the worst year of my life.

21.

It would truly be an honor if you would consider sharing this post with someone.
Maybe my experience can be helpful to them.

*Bonus Son - I've never liked the term stepson so I have always called my husband's son my bonus. However,   I no longer call him my bonus son. He was my son in every sense of the word except that I did not give birth to him.

P.S. - This post originally appeared on another blog of mine. It is, however, one of my most popular so I have chosen to reshare it here in hopes of having more people experience it.

Although we wish we could just give everyone the benefit of the doubt and say “Ok, well you said you were going to do this for me, so you will!” That’s not the reality of business today.

As a solopreneur, it’s important to have everything written down and signed.  This not only provides legal documentation for each party involved, but it also sets expectations. It allows to client to know up front what they can expect from you and what you expect from them.

• What one person sees as personal information that should not be shared, is going to be very different from what another person’s view may be.
• Hold on to documents! Even after a client is no longer active, you want to keep your documentation with them.  While I’m not a lawyer, who is able to give you an exact span of time, I would recommend getting advise in that area.
• Read and understand your own contact and anyone else’s who you are signing. You need to know your contract forwards and backwards so that you can have a conversation with a prospective client and correctly articulate the importance of each section or why you included that part.

Just as we want to help others, we also have to protect ourselves and our business. Make sure you have formal contracts set up for anyone you are providing services to, even if it’s your best friend.

What is it with the “Why”? We hear everyone talking about it, yet we can’t buy it on Amazon, so what’s up with the “Why”? Meshell Baker has lived the lavish life in corporate and had this “dream job” but she was bored with her life. She didn’t love anything that she sold, so she wasn’t living her dream.  

Purpose versus Passion: Everyone has a purpose. Most people don’t find their purpose until later in life and it changes throughout their life.  Passion leads to purpose, so if you are ever stuck on trying to figure out your purpose, find your passion and it will lead you there.

Vision vs Goal: Your vision allows you to step outside your comfort zone and develop the gifts that reside inside you. A goal is something you already have a strategy for and you know how you can do that.

Start facing your fear and you will start to see your “why”. I think that’s great advice. I know that sometimes I think about having different goals and how to prioritize them.  Which one is more important right now? Time, health, family, finances, work… whatever the case may be.  And these have changed a lot for me over the past few years too. That’s why you have to be flexible and aware of these changes, learn how to regroup and find that primary goal.

Are you living “the dream” or are you living your dream?

Connect with Meshell

Check out her website!

In this episode we talk about efficiency products. They are a blessing and a curse! We are given templates and great efficiency products, but you have to make these templates fit you. With every rule, there is always an exception to the rule, so find what works for you. Kricket shares a few of these things to consider.

Time of day: Everyone has more energy at different times of the day.  Someone may like to get up early and get down to business, while others may find that after lunch is their most productive time.  Learn when your best time of day is and use that to your advantage.

Look at your past successes.  What did you do that was successful and how can you apply that to another project you are working on?

Create a to-do list, but give yourself the option to move things around and push things off to another week.  Sometimes life happens and you get sick or your child gets sick and you need to move things around.  That’s ok!  Give yourself forgiveness and allow flexibility with your list.

Review your to-do list.  Are you noticing that the same things keep getting put off? Is so, is there a legitimate reason or should you take a look and figure out how to do those things. Do you need to delegate that to someone else?  Or do you just need to prioritize it to make sure it gets done in a more timely manner?

When you don’t accomplish something that you intended to that day, ask yourself what happened?  Not why or how, but what caused this to-do item to be unattainable today?  This helps you focus on the project.

Connect with Kricket on Facebook!

As entrepreneurs we tend to always have a lot of plates spinning because we get bored easily. Whether it’s the delicate balance of work life and personal life, or just deciding which clients needs the most time, Holly Porter chats about the challenges around keeping all the plates spinning. 

Here are some tips that Holly shares:

1. Be present in the present.  Decide when and where you are devoting your time. It’s ok to take a plate down in order to grab hold of another one.
2. Create boundaries.
3. What are your negotiables and non-negotiables?
4. Make sure you make time for self care, which is usually the first one to take the back seat.
5. What is causing you the most stress?
6. Figure out what your hourly worth is. What can you let go of? Can you find someone to help with those things?
7. Let go of the guilt behind those plates that don’t bring you joy, but you feel obligated to take on.
8. Think about what drives you. Are you motivated by power and money or are you people motivated?

Connect with Holly:

Facebook

hollyporter.com

Listen to Holly’s podcast!

Feeling isolated and alone? One of the common challenges for solopreneurs is working from home without anyone to bounce ideas or even just have water cooler conversations. Hear some great tips on staying social from Kay Miller .

Tips from Kay:

1. I like to work out in the morning to keep my energy throughout the day
2. I love having my dog around all day!
3. Sometimes you just need to get up and take a walk around the block
4. Go to Starbucks! Get a change of scenery!
5. Look for MeetUp Groups. Try to plan something to look forward to every couple days.
6. Get up and get ready.  Put on make up and get dressed for something that day.
7. Find groups and use products like Zoom so you can see those faces and connect with them.

Check out these groups recommended by Kay:

Business Professional Women

Business Among Moms

You can learn more about Steve Miller’s book Uncopyable and don’t forget to check out all the FREE STUFF he offers on his website.

Are you constantly feeling distracted by the next idea or tip for growing your business? Hear about how you can stay on track and grow your business quickly with these easy tips from Tish Times. 

Connect with Tish:

TishTimes.com
Facebook

Whew, that was a great networking event. You connected with some old faces and met a lot of new people. Sure it cost you a few bucks and a few hours of your time. At least it got you out of the office. But, was that all it was for?

Making an investment of time, energy and money to attend networking events doesn’t end when the event does. In fact, that’s when it is just beginning.

If you’ve been in business circles for any length of time, you’ve probably heard the old adage:

The Fortune is in the Follow Up!

And this is so true. What you do with all of those contacts after the event is the real key to maximizing your investments. However, you are truly busy just running your business and you really don’t want to come across as spammy. So how can you maximize your time and do so in a manner which gets results without feeling like a used car salesman?

How to Follow Up After a Networking Event

Refine Your Pile

Realistically, not everyone you meet is a good connection. Some contacts just aren’t good prospects and won’t be good sources of referrals either. Don’t focus any time on these individuals. In fact, go ahead and remove their business cards from your pile before you do anything else. Now you only have business contacts who are potential prospects or who could refer you to someone who might be.

Categorize By Value

Arrange the remaining cards into three piles.

1. The first pile should contain important business contacts who are the best prospects or referral sources.
2. The second pile should contain contacts who are still valuable but who’s value isn’t quite as high.
3. The third and final pile should contain contacts who may be of value in the future but who aren’t a priority as of right now.

Read more about How to Organize Business Contacts here.

The Intro Email

The first email you send will be a quick email to ask more about the person you just met. Odds are you didn’t get a chance to talk in detail at the networking event. This email gives you the opportunity to connect with them on a deeper level. Here are 4 sample questions you may consider adding to your intro email:

1. What do yo love most about being a ?
2. Who is your favorite audience to work with?
3. When you aren’t working, what do you love to do?
4. What it is an immediate challenge you are trying to solve right now (personally or professionally)?

After these questions, invite them to join you on social media and list out your links so they can easily access these with a click.

PRO TIP: Use Canned Responses in Google Labs to create email templates like this. Alternatively, you can download a program like PhraseExpress and store common emails for easy retrieval.

Who to Email First?

Now that you have the email you will be sending, begin sending these based on the categories you have already set up.

1. Pile A – Reach out to the business contacts in the first pile within 24 hours. Of course, if it is a weekend, that can be the next business day.
2. Pile B – Reach out to your pile B contacts within one week.
3. Pile C – These contacts can wait one to two weeks out but be sure to follow up with them eventually.

Unless your event was a multiple day event or you had a sponsor table, odds are you will have less than 20 contacts to follow up with. If you have more than this, you may not be spending enough time with each individual you meet. Only ask for business cards from individuals you truly want to connect with.

PRO TIP: NEVER EVER add someone to your email list or Facebook group without asking for their permission first. This is rude and considered spammy and may hurt your reputation.

After the First Email: Now What? 

Once you’ve reached out to your business contacts to show them your interest in building a relationship with them, follow up with them by sending them a text or by calling them. Be prepared with a couple of quick questions you can ask. This might be related to the event such as “Did you take action on XYZ?” or it may be just to learn more about them. Also be prepared with your calendar handy to invite them to a “virtual coffee” appointment.

When to follow up:

• Pile A – Call or text within one week of sending the initial email.
• Pile B – Call within two to three weeks.
• Pile C – Call within the first month.

Staying in Touch: Send a Subtle Reminder Using Social Media or Email

 Some business contacts will be easier to connect with and others may be more difficult to reach. If you have still not received a response or interest at this point, send them an article of interest to them (not promoting what you do) through a social media account or by sending them another email. It can also be helpful to engage with them on social media by liking and commenting on their posts.

When to follow up:

• Pile A – Within two weeks of reaching out by phone.
• Pile B – Within one month of phone call.
• Pile C – Within one month of phone call.

Don’t Give Up: Continue to Reach Out Until You Get a Response

You may or may not have managed to get a response from business contacts at this point. If you have, congratulations. If you haven’t, however, don’t get discouraged.

Remember when we talked about the fortune being in the follow up? This is what will make or break your success. Quit now and you’ve just wasted your time and money. Remember, people have their own list of priorities and odds are, you are NOT at the top. That doesn’t mean they don’t want to connect with you. It just means the timing has to be right.

When to follow up:

• Pile A – Continue to reach out to these contacts every two to three weeks. Mix it up with phone, email and social media. It’s about making a connection and building a relationship.
• Pile B – Monthly
• Pile C – Quarterly

After trying to connect with a contact for 6 months or more and having no success or return response, you can assume they aren’t interested. This isn’t about beating a dead horse but giving enough time to have magic happen.

If you’ve failed to reach certain contacts after months of sending them emails and phone calls, you can probably throw those contacts into the trash. However, take into consideration how valuable each contact is before giving up. If they are a contact that could really assist you in furthering your career, hold onto them. If they are a contact that you can honestly live without, give up on them.

Pro Tip: If you run into someone on your list at a networking event, reignite the conversation. This connection counts towards your follow up. It’s all about being top of mind for when they are ready.

Final Thoughts

Out of site, out of mind. When you can build and nurture a healthy relationship with a contact, they are more likely to think of you first when they or someone they know needs what you offer. We hope this article helps you to create your own follow up plan. If you would like help implementing all or part of your follow up, please contact us here.

Today’s episode of “It’s a Solopreneur’s Life” was a bit different. Today would have been the 23rd birthday of my son who passed away 5 years ago. I wanted to honor him by sharing some of the things I learned about managing a solopreneur business while being hit by a MAJOR Life Changing situation. I hope you will be able to learn something from my video that you can use to help others going through a difficult situation.

If you’ve ever attempted to raise kids, of any age ?, while running a solopreneur business then you’ll want to tune in to this episode! You’ll hear how she started out and how she has grown into the best mom and businesswoman she can be. Join me on my chat with Sister VA Stephanie Hastings as we talk about the challenges of parenting and building a business.

Find her on Facebook at

Facebook

Do you remember that episode of Seinfeld back in the day (am I dating myself here) when Jerry was asked to wear the puffy shirt and stated the epic line, “But I don’t wanna be a pirate!” Seinfeld was being asked to endorse a product he didn’t believe in. He was forced to not be authentic. 

As solopreneurs, we all face times in our careers when we feel inauthentic to who we truly are.  Watch Tracey Warren of Inspark Coworking and I as we chat about some of these scenarios!

Learn more about Tracey Warren at https://www.facebook.com/traceyplaysbig